superheros and such...

halloween was great fun at the mcmurry homestead this year...especially with two little people to dress up. connor was an arkansas razorback football player and cohen wore the lion costume that was connor's on his first halloween. lots of pictures, pumpkin carving, cooking baking, candy confiscation, costume anticipation, one visit to urgent care to glue up a cut on connor's forehead and a nice round of strep throat to top off all the festivities. now this didn't all happen ON halloween (although that would have made for a better story, perhaps.) but it all happened close enough to the day that it all runs together in this mama's mind. still-it was lovely in all it's chaos and catastrophe.

though halloween comes but once a year for most people, connor experiments daily with what it would be like to be someone else. someone else as in...a pirate. football player. race car driver. power ranger. fireman. train engineer. indian. superhero. cowboy. hunter. he also dabbles in construction management. i am whole-heartedly enjoying this phase! i love to be surprised when i haven't seen him around the house for a few minutes and he comes leaping down the stairs with his power ranger suit on-complete with cape, helmet, gloves, and elmo houseshoes to serve as his 'rocket boots.' (picture to be added shortly if the 'i.t.' dept. can get their act together). he wanted to have a pirate party for his 5th birthday in august, so when it's pirate hour at our house he comes around wearing his pirate hat, eye patch, bandana (borrowed from his train engineer suit), belt, sword w/ shaft, and hook. when he's a race car driver, he puts on his lightining mcqueen racing suit that is 2 sizes too small b/c he wore it for halloween in 2008 but he loves it b/c it has a secret button he can push on his chest that causes the suit to light up and make noises like a race car. he's been facinated with trains since almost birth, so when he's a train engineer he loves to wear his bib overalls w/ matching hat, walkie-talkie, train whistle, tickets and ticket-puncher, and pocket watch. then he talks just like the conductor on 'the polar express' which is one of his all-time favorite movies. i love it, too. and speaking of movies, my parents ordered this personalized superhero movie for connor that has a cartoon superhero with a picture of connor's face attached. it's actually a very poorly-done video...the other characters and dialogue are quirky and odd. however-connor absolutely LOVES it. he is now all about being a superhero and puts on his 'super razorback' cape that my parents also got for him and shows off his muscles. it's adorable and hilarious. he has also made several paper projects to go along with all of his alter-personas. we have about 18 paper trains, 2 pirate ships, multiple race cars, airplanes, space ships, aliens, some great-looking sea animals and of course, plenty of superheros with capes and belts stapled to their little paper bodies. i can't bare to throw any of these masterpieces away, so i've started taping them to the wall inside the closet under the stairs he refers to as 'his office.' i know there are lots of words and details in this post and i don't care. i'm attempting to keep a record of special memories here and once i get started i want to remember every detail! these days are so precious to me! and they are escaping like sand through my fingers.

i believe-and this is a disclaimer for the future when cohen reads this someday-that i haven't written in as much detail about cohen for the very simple reason that he cannot yet speak. when he starts talking, walking, etc, i'm absolutely certain he will gain as much-and sometimes more-word time as his older brother. he is as facinating, adorable and hilarious as we think connor is. he's just a lot less mobile and vocal at this time. we are eagerly anticipating the revealing of his unique little personality in verbal communication. in the meantime, he will be 10 months old on the 16th of this month and he is magnificant. he is growing more out than up and we tease him that his feet look like they haven't grown since he got here. he wakes up happy as a clam around 7ish am, eats breakfast and plays until 9ish, naps until noonish, lunch and more playing, afternoon napping around 2:30ish, up around 4:30ish, likes dinner at 5 and bed at 7:30ish. that's his day in a nutshell. when he's up and at 'em he loves to roll-not crawl-around, laugh at his brother, and he just learned to clap today. he sucks his right thumb and dislikes chunky food. probably because he has yet to sprout a tooth. his eyes are beautiful and his lashes are long and envy-worthy. the hemangioma he was born with is almost gone and if you didn't know it was there you never would. he smells sweet even when he stinks and he loves patty-cake and peek-a-boo. he also says 'da da' but it's more like 'da da da da da da' so i know he doesn't mean anything by it and his true first word will be 'ma ma.' he pretty much only cries when he's hungry or i'm leaving. other than that, he is one happy fella. and i am one happy mama.

as we are in the season of Thanksgiving, i am more now than ever before grateful for the blessing of family. i am looking forward to going home to paragould to partake in the most delicious feast on the planet with the 2 people who brought me into this world, my genius brother and sister-in-law (aka-Claire's parents! yay!), my precious grandmother, my aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. i LOVE family time. and i LOVE my famiy and lane's so very much. we are going to celebrate with his family at big cedar the weekend before and that is also going to be deliciously fun. i really need to unfold my treadmill. and get on it.

thank you, Gracious Heavenly Father, for these days.

Literal Connor...

Monday night we were driving home in the car. Connor asked me when we were going to Heaven. I told him I didn't know, of course. Then I asked why he wanted to know. He said, 'Because I want to see what God looks like. Mama, do you know what God looks like?' I told him that the Bible tells us that He made us in His image, so we must look a lot like Him. And he told me, 'No we don't. David Crowder says that no one's like Him.' (For those who might need a Crowder reference explanation here...one of Connor's favorite songs is 'No One Like You'.)

Recording love here...

Connor...he finished his prayer tonight by saying, 'and please help Cohen to always love You.'

This is something I never want to forget.

late nite not-so-guilty pleasure

i love david crowder band. music, blog, pics, hair, and mutual affinity for the Lord and eddie vedder. (pretty sure that is the first time that sentence has ever been formed...ever.) check 'em out at www.davidcrowderband.com. totally worth your downtime time.

rainy days and good, good coffee...

i woke up to rain this morning...i had to stop myself and make sure i was not actually seeing/hearing things because it has not rained here in so long! it is wonderful! and it's one of those great kind of rains. you know what i'm talkin' about...the kind that starts off softly in the early morning when it's still pretty dark in your room and you hear it and smell it all at the same time because you slept with your windows open and then it rains harder and thunders and lightinings a bit and your 7 month old wakes up so you bring him downstairs to your bed and then your 5 year old wakes up and comes on down and you're all three laying in bed together listening to the rain and wishing time would stop so you wouldn't have to get out of bed-THAT kind of rain. now the 5 year old is at preschool and the 7 month old is sleeping and i'm still seeing/hearing the rain while i enjoy some coffee and good-smelling candles and think about fall and halloween and life moving at the same speed as the lightining outside my window.

lane and i are about to celebrate 13 years of marital bliss. we got married on the 13th, so isn't there some magical something that's supposed to happen? if so, i hope it involves a good steak. this man i am fortunate enough to call my husband is so fantastic. there aren't enough minutes in the day or years in this lifetime for me to get to spend with him, but i will take what i can get and be grateful for each one-

man, he is amazing.

connor started his last year of preschool on monday. i cannot believe how quickly that has gone and i know the first day of kindergarten is right around the corner-ready to jump out and scare me. i think turning 5 has been quite a milestone for this boy of mine. last night he told me he didn't want to take a bath-he was going to take a shower. what? but that's exactly what he did, and all by himself. i was instructed to stand right outside the curtain, but not to peek in. i did observe good cleaning practices when i cheated and peeked, so that makes me happy. then he got out and wrapped a towel around his waist like he's been doing that since he was 3 or something- and proceeded to brush his teeth and put on his pjs before hopping into bed. lane read him his new favorite book-'i love you, stinky face.' then connor prayed, thanking the Lord that cohen got to come (he says it like, 'thank you, Lord, that you heard my prayer asking You for a baby brother and you answered me and sent cohen down here to this party called life, so thanks that he got to come after i invited him.') then he thanks God for all the grandparents, cousins, aunts & uncles, great grandparents, & prays for daddy's arm to feel better (because he tore the bicep away from the bone & had to have surgery...another story for another day.) this morning he was in the best mood and had no problem getting dressed and ready for school and making his bed. when i dropped him off in the car line he just hugged my neck and kissed my cheek and went right on in. he is so big. i miss him so much when we are apart, but i'm also thankful for the downtime for myself-i think it makes me a better mom. and i'm thankful for him to have such an amazing preschool to go to in order to develop some of the courage and knowledge he'll need to make next year enjoyable. what an absolute miracle it is that he is here. i was laying in bed last night thinking about when we lived in the farm house...i was remembering being outside mowing our yard while connor was sitting in his little red wagon with a giant stick pretending to be fishing. he has the most wonderful, incredible imagination. and the sweetest, most tender spirit. my heart swells when i think about how good God made him.

as for his precious little brother, whom i hear over the monitor making some of the sweetest noises known to man-or mom-well, what more could i say about him that hasn't already been applied to his big brother? it is absolutely miraculous that a mother's heart is somehow capable of this much love-and in completely equal parts-for both of these amazing creatures. cohen is the happiest, most laid-back little man. always smiling and content. lane joked to cohen the other night that he must get kissed by me a thousand times in a day. and i told lane that although i have no doubt that is true, and probably not even accurate because it's probably much more than that, it's still not enough. i can't begin to physically express my infinite love for my family. i will continue to try each day, and hopefully break records and stuff on the kissing/hugging/'i love you's. but it will never be enough. life is just too short.

which makes me all the more grateful for Jesus.

Can we all just slow down a second....

where is the time going? how is it possible that cohen will be 14 weeks old on saturday and connor is going to be five and driving and married before i can catch my breath? please, can't we all just take things a little bit slower now before i get dizzy???

a few things i wanted to note tonight about sweet cohen: he's just got to be the best baby around right now. he is a great sleeper and eater. loves to smile at his brother. or mother. or anybody. he has the cutest patch of little hair on his back just above one of the cutest bottoms i know i've ever seen. he also has cute hair growing off the sides of his cute little ears. and his ears ARE little. so are his feet. but his legs are plump. plumpy is what we like to call him. and he is just the sweetest, mild-mannered, even-tempered baby. what a precious boy. what a miracle. i changed his diaper and laid him down tonight at 9pm. he didn't even squeak. just drifted off to dream a little before waking up to be fed again around 10:45pm. now he should sleep for several hours (fingers crossed on that hope.) but who can lay a 3 month old baby down...just lay him on down in his bed and wrap him in his little blankey...and he doesn't do anything but smile at you and close his eyes? he's amazing. just amazing.

and his brother...wow. also very amazing, amazing, amazing. we were at cpo today picking out birthday cards for his daddy. he wanted to go look at all the veggie tales stuff. i just stood back and watched him. he just looked and looked. he picked up this puzzle, or that book. or he would stand with his hands clasped in front of him while he took it all in. he never asked me for one thing. he really, truly enjoyed just looking. and i really, truly stopped for those few moments and enjoyed just looking at him. he was beautiful to watch with his blonde hair and his sweet face. i could have cried tears of pride over standing in the bookstore watching my son. i want to hang on to that mental picture of him forever. when i went upstairs to nurse cohen just a little while ago, i went in to kiss connor in his bed. he was sound asleep under 2 giant stuffed dogs (oscar and booge), a fish named rachel, larry the cucumber, boo boo bear and of course, brown dog and bear-bear. i had to literally dig him out just to kiss his face! it was wonderful. he is so wonderful.

tomorrow lane will be 38 years old. connor, cohen and i all have cards for him to open, and then we have a special day of things planned for him on saturday. i'm so thankful the Lord made him and gave him to me. i can really see how he consciously makes an effort everyday to be the very best daddy or husband he knows how to be. it is something to watch your husband love his children to pieces. and it is amazing how he loves me. or that he loves me! somedays, you know, i'm not the easiest nut to crack. happy birthday, my beloved. you are adored more than you will ever know by the 3 others to whom you gave your name. and 2 of them also got your DNA. lucky fellas.

Random Thoughts...

Nutella is my newfound food love. How have I lived 35 years without this wonderfully chocolatey heavenly hazelnuty spread??? I now put it on everything! Bread, english muffins, wrapped in those little cresent rolls you bake in the oven (that is my favorite.) It's also good on english muffins w/ a little freshly sliced strawberries (or strawberry preserves, if fresh ones aren't readily available.) I am actually getting ready to visit the Nutella website for other delicious ideas.

Also, it has dawned on me recently that living with 3 men is going to be a big, stinky, dirty, glorious mess.

Precious Connor

Lane tucked Cohen into bed tonight while I gave Connor his bath and put him to bed. We said our prayers and he asked me to sing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' because he really dislikes that song and I think this is his way of trying to overcome his dislike for it. Anyway, after we prayed and sang, he wanted to ask questions. He always wants to ask questions as a way of prolonging inevitable sleep, but we still let him ask because it's always something profound or sweet or thoughtful that he comes up with. Tonight he wanted to know if we get new bodies when we go to Heaven, which we have talked about before, so I told him 'yes.' But I also told him that God gave us bodies that He made special just for us to use while we're here. He thought that was pretty cool, and then he wanted to pray and ask God something. So here's how that went:

'Thank you, Lord, for this day and that my baby brother got to come. And draw me close to you, Lord, and can I bring all my stuffed animals up there to Heaven? Amen.'

He's so awesome, that boy.

Sunday Night in Paragould...

lane drove back to nixa tonight because he has to work in the morning and i wanted to spend a couple extra days in paragould with the boys since connor is on spring break this week. it hurt my heart to watch him pull out of the driveway and head home by himself. i know he'll be just fine and will probably enjoy a little quietness around the house when he's home for a couple of days, but we'll miss him terribly. he is such a wonderful dad and he and connor have really gotten close. as a matter of fact, when i told connor why daddy was loading the car tonight before he left, he cried and cried. i think his daddy is his very best friend. isn't that wonderful?

i put the boys to bed together tonight. the three of us sat in bed and read 4 books, then we tucked cohen into his miracle blanket (which lives up to its name entirely). then connor and i knelt by the side of the bed and said our prayers before hopping into bed for me to sing to him and tell him a story. he informed me that 'daddy tells really good stories.' guess i need to brush up on my story-telling skills.

when i read back over the stuff i am typing it sounds pretty boring to someone who isn't me or my kids or husband, but i just think someday later on when this day is long gone i will be really glad i recorded some of these mundane thoughts and happenings because they will become special little memories. that's my disclaimer. nighty-night.

Adventures in Arkansas (Cohen's 1st visit to Paragould out of the belly)

lane, connor, cohen and i drove to p'gould friday night. it was a fantastic trip considering we had a 4 yr old and a 9 wk old in the backseat...no crying or movie-watching for 3 1/2 hours. it was miraculous. when we arrived at gran & paw paw's house they had dairy queen waiting for connor (plain cheeseburger, ff's & chocolate milk-per his request), and catfish & bbq per our request. what a heavenly meal! i'm never gonna get this pregnancy weight off.

this morning, after what's become a staple meal of french toast for connor fixed by his paw paw, lane took him to see isaac cook's soccer game. then they went out to the cook's farm so connor could play with eli & isaac. lane took lots of pictures-which i plan to post on here just as soon as i figure out how. connor rode on isaac's horse 'duke' and went fishin'...then had dairy queen again for lunch. what a dream afternoon for a little boy. after a nap and some family photo-taking outside in the yard with paw paw's awesome new camera, we took connor down to the high school football field. he loved being able to just run, run, run and 'play' football with his daddy. i loved being able to take more pictures of it all with paw paw's awesome new camera. did i mention that his camera is awesome?! it is so awesome.

cohen spent his day taking naps, getting his diaper changed, drinking lots of milk, and being passed around to all kinds of people who came to love on him...ie: nonny carolyn, susan havens, mary rankin, memmaw, aunt shay & uncle bub. that boy is a gem. i don't want to rush the growing up process, but i am really excited to see him and his older brother grow up together.

well, our dog-and-pony show is in town until wednesday of this week so i'm sure i'll have plenty more to add to this adventure story. it's too late at night for me to conjour up any creative-writing skills. my eyes are crossing.

it's bedtime at the mcmurry homestead. everyone's asleep except me and that's just because i wanted to give a quick account of last night and today's happenings that made me smile, laugh, and stop and stare in awe at my boys.

last night on the way home from chili's after dinner, connor said he needed a haircut. said he wanted all his hairs to look like daddy's. not gonna happen anytime soon as far as i'm concerned, but when he's 34 or so and in charge of his own hairs he can cut 'em however he wants...all of them hairs.

cohen had his 2 month check-up this morning. he weighed 13.6 lbs and was 23 inches long. he was in the 50thish percentile for height and the 80thish percentile for weight...short and squishy, but oh so adorable! he got a 2 thumbs up from dr. fusco and 3 shots in his chubby little thighs from a very nice nurse who felt very badly for making my baby (and his mama) cry. thank the Good Lord Lane was able to get away from work to come hold him for me while he got poked in the legs. i kept telling myself it was for his own good but it'd be fine with me if he never had to cry like that again.

while we were at dr. fusco's, we asked her about connor's hyper-sensitivity to sudden loud noises (he just breaks into tears at the sound of a loud buzzer at a basketball game or the train's whistle at silver dollar city-and he LOVES trains!). she said he must just be more sensitive than others and he would most likely grow out of it...she suggested i carry some soft ear plugs for him to use whenever he might need them. something occurred to me there in that office. connor prayed for God to give him a baby brother and God not only answered his prayer but also included a special blessing in that cohen does not cry often, or loudly when he does cry. how amazing it is that God sent this precious little baby to us and blessed our socks off! right down to the little soft and infrequent crys. connor will have to be told this someday so that's why i'm writing about it now. i want him to know how much God loves him. and i want him to know that when he asks God for something and it's in the plans, God will blow him away with the goodness and perfectness of His answer. since the time cohen was born, i was only seeing his good-babyness from my perspective...it never occurred to me until today that God was also blessing connor in a very specific little way by creating cohen to be such a good baby. wow.

i recorded both of their little voices tonight on my iphone. i never, ever want to forget what they sound like. and i never, ever want to forget how much God loves my little boys. and me. despite myself. wow. He's so good. Good Night.

Been awhile...

i probably don't have much time to spend typing today...both connor & cohen are sleeping and that can't last any too long! so this is the first time i have mentioned cohen. he just came into our lives on january 16th and we didn't know his name until january 18th. he is incredible. just the most laid back little guy-a great sleeper (which is never to be taken for granted!), a great eater, and he possesses one of the most beautiful smiles i have ever laid eyes on. his big brother is crazy about him and cares about him deeply. very deeply, considering he's 4 years old and brand-new to the concept that his mama & daddy now love another human being as much as they love him. that, in itself, is a miracle i could never comprehend until it happened to me. i would look at connor often while i was pregnant with cohen and wonder how in the world i would ever be able to love someone as much as i love connor. it is something only God can make possible. and the fact that it occurred as instantly as the moment i first saw cohen's face speaks to the awesomeness of my Heavenly Father. the fact that He gave me not just one, but two of the most perfectly adorable and precious human beings ever created makes me want to cry and laugh and jump up and down all at the same time. He knows i'm so undeserving of such great gifts and love. man, i'm so thankful.

so they both sleep. and there isn't time enough in the world or words perfect enough to capture my love and gratefulness for these two little boys. i look forward to writing more about them and the amazing things they do.